Betch!

~Wendy's cashier: .99 plus tax is $1.05. Do you really need me to "hold for my total" for 5 freakin' minutes so you can figure that out on the register?

~Wendy's coporate office: If you think that making your high school dropouts wear disposable gloves while they get my food makes me feel like you give a shit about my health because your skank ass employees don't wash their hands after pooping, you are very mistaken. The whole "sanitary" aspect of the gloves goes out the window when Jethro is scratching his balls, greasy hair and poc marked face with his gloved hand then getting my fries. Oops, I accidentally pulled my hand away while he was giving me my bag and my fries dumped all over the ground.
Sorry that he had to call out to Bertha who had just put on a fresh pair to get me another fry. My bad.

~Kroger corporate office: Your produce is shit. Why is this? You are a major grocery store chain. Why does it look like your produce came from a dumpster in Mexican town? Your mushrooms have mold. A fungus with a fungus. Do you NOT see anything wrong with this? It's friggen ridiculous that your crap goes bad like 10 minutes after I get it home. I pay 4x the going rate for your shit produce so you can pay your old ornery cashiers $14 hr. to drag my cans of food and rotten produce across a scanner and down to SpEd Fred who piles them on top of my bread. It's BS and I'm DONE with you. I will no longer buy your crap produce. I don't care if I have to pay $35 in gas to drive to two separate stores as long as I get apples that weren't used to play softball in the back room. (I worked at a grocery store, I KNOW what happens in that back room). Fire your produce buyer.

~Owen: You'll never make it to 4. Why do you get up at the crack of dawn even though I put you to bed as late as I possibly could in hopes of you sleeping to at least 7am for God's sake. I can't take it...I don't want to get up every day at 5am. I'm friggen T-I-R-E-D. I switch between 12 hour day and midnight shifts every week and I'm TIRED!!!!! LET ME SLEEP JUST ONE FREAKIN' DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the bananas. The bananas. Why do you ask for a freakin' banana when you have no intention of eating it? Hmmm? More importantly, why do I keep giving you the damn things when I KNOW that you won't eat them? Why? BECAUSE I'M FRIGGEN TIRED THAT'S WHY! I don't think clearly because I'm tired. God I'm tired.

~Totheywhocantbenamed: Stop putting salt pork on your butt boil. I'm LMFAO that part of it stuck to your ass but seriously, did you at least cook the pork 1st?