Dirty Birds!

No porn, but welcome to my blog!

Dear Kroger,

I'm writing to let you know how fed up I am with your stores. I'm so tired of getting substandard service with the Kroger chain. Today was the straw that broke the camel's back. I don't need to chat with your cashiers. I'm sure they're very nice people, but if I want a best friend, I'll call one. I want the people that are ringing up my order to be paying attention to what they're doing NOT visiting with me or the bagger because the cashiers I've come in contact with lately, cannot handle talking and ringing up my order at the same time. Today I was at your Northville store in Northville, Michigan and the cashier was so busy chatting that she not only neglected to subtract my $3.89 coupon that was giving to her in a stack of about 5 (I caught THAT mistake) but when I got home, I realized that she ALSO neglected to subtract the $5.00 coupon I had for hair color that I gave her. So I called the store and the "manager" who took my call, didn't identify his name, I had to ask, and said the next time I'm in the area, just stop in and say something and I'll get the money. I find it hard to believe that your staff just hands out money to anyone who says they were shorted but whatever, I have the reciept, cashier's name, proof I bought the hair color and MY coupon that was never deducted, should have been in her drawer but the manager didn't seem at all concerned with that. This is only one of MANY issues I have with your chain. Your produce is terrible, it really is. I cannot believe a chain of your size has such crappy produce. I've been to 3 different stores and I have the same experience with your produce. Rotten strawberries, soft peppers, dried out onions, either totally green or over ripe bananas, lettuce that I would state my life on that was frozen prior to getting to the shelf, green tomatoes, etc. It goes rotten, and I'm NOT exaggerating within a couple days of buying it. It's absolutley ridiculous. Your produce buyer should be fired or made to buy it him/herself. I pay premium prices for your produce and I'm stopping today. I'm sorry that this will be viewed as just another pissed off customer because you really do need to make some changes. It takes a lot for me to actually take the time out of my busy schedule to complain, but today was it for me. I'm done.


This was emailed to their home office today by yours truly.

eta: Bob Saget! I forgot to bitch about the Sp.Ed baggers! Dammit!

Sweet mother of God

I work with fucktards today. God help me.

What amuses me

Here are some things that amuse me at this time:

Someone at Sharper Image read my mind and came up with this amazing tool! It's a psycho -bacteria- in -my -food freak's dream come true!!
http://www.sharperimage.com/us/en/catalog/productdetails/sku__FQ300

http://www.domystuff.com/
very cool website where you can outsource things in your life that you need doing and people bid on doing those things for you. The more bidding, the lower price it'll cost you for that service. Check it out...it's the future!

http://paintingadayproject.blogspot.com/
this lady is very talented. Get yourself an original painting for really reasonable prices.

Books:
The Sneaky Chef
(getting your kids to eat stuff that's good for them)

Brainy Brownies
from The Sneaky Chef

butter or nonstick cooking spray
6 tblsp unsalted butter
3/4 C semisweet chocolate chips
2 lg. eggs
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 C sugar
1/2 C Purple Puree (see note)
1/4 C plus 2 tblsp flour blend (see note)
1/4 C rolled oats, ground in a food processor
1 tblsp unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 C chopped walnuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Butter or spray only the bottom of a 13x9 in. baking dish.
In the top of a double boiler over simmering water, melt the butter and chocolate chips. Remove from the heat, cool about 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, in another bowl, stir together the eggs, vanilla, sugar and Purple Puree. Combing egg mixture with the cooled chocolate mixture.
In a large mixing bowl, stir together the flour blend, cocoa powder, oats and salt. Add the chocolate mixture and blend thoroughly. Mix in the chopped walnuts if using, then pour the entire mixture in baking dish.
Bake for 30-35 min., until a wooden pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool completely in the pan before cutting the brownies. Dust with confectioners' sugar, if desired.

*Note:
*Purple Puree:

3 C raw baby spinach leaves washed, or 2 C frozen chopped spinach or frozen chopped collard greens.
1 1/2 C fresh or frozen blueberries with no syrup or sugar added
1 tsp lemon juice
3-4 tblsp water.

Place the spinach in some water, bring to a boil and reduce the heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. If using frozen blueberries, quickly rinse under cold water to thaw a little and drain. Drain spinach and place in a food processor along with blueberries, lemon juice and 2 tblsp water. Puree on high until smooth as possible.

*Flour blend:

combine 1 C all purpose unbleached white flour, 1 C whole wheat flour and 1 C unsweetened wheat germ.

The following jokes:

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sicklyfather died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.

So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just anordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a month or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later,
she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men.


Little Johnny's neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him, and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.
When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby."
The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."
Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands,a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes."
"Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.
"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful ; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."
That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be shit outta luck if he needed glasses


Peace out!

All I really need to know I learned at Jellystone

~ I learned that 60% of women who wear bikini's have never seen, much less owned, a full length mirror.

~ I learned that a teenage girl will spend 1 hour straightening her hair with a straightening iron only to put it up in a pony tail.

~ I confirmed that teenage boys are really fecking stupid.

~ I learned that Darwin's theory of natural selection skips the trailers that have NASCAR flags flying from them.

~ I learned that the older I get, the less tolerant I am with dumb fecking people.

~ I learned that people have no manners and the same fucktard who doesn't make her kid cover her mouth and nose when she sneezes and coughs, is the same fucktard's kid who'll give mine the plague now that he's in public school.

~ I learned that those aerosol spray/mist sunscreens aren't worth the wrapper they come in because both my kids burned after using them.

~ I learned that the mom that sprayed her kid with sunscreen while the kid was IN THE POOL should be slapped at least 3 times for being so fecking stupid.

~ I learned that the only kids I like are my own.

~ I learned that hip hugger pants are meant to hug the hips of SKINNY people, not bunch the fat over one's waist band and that these people don't own a full length mirror either.

~ I learned that most people's bathing suits are like 3 sizes too small.

and finally, the Tool of the Day award goes to the asshat that named her two boys "Steel" and "Slade". Here's your sign sweetheart:

Champagne taste

I found the new range I want for the kitchen:

So I'm thinking it'll be like $2,000 or so and that would be OK, I'd just make sure I saved extra to budget for it.

Ummmm, I was off a little......it's actually:

$10,499.00

Yah, guess that won't be happening. It's back to Sears for me!

An open letter to my newspaper carrier

Do you know why I don't tip you? It's because every time I DO tip you, I get shit service for the next 6 weeks. Why is this? Is it because you don't give a shit if my paper gets to my porch like I've specified that I wanted because you now have your money so why bother? Is it just coincidence? I think it's because you are a lazy ass who once you get your tip money, which is generous by the way, you stop giving a shit about the service you give. Well guess what buddy? I'm not tipping you a friggen dime anymore. Your service is shit, you barely get the paper even close to my friggen porch much less on the damn thing, and I'm sick and freakin' tired of you pulling into my drive at 40 mph with your brights on at 430 am to whip my paper from your car window (yes I saw you.). Oh and a big middle finger of thanks for throwing the Saturday paper into my cute little garden sign and breaking the damn thing. That'll take you MONTHS of potential tips to pay for. Oh and another thing, stop sending me your freakin' sob story letters about how you're a student, husband, father, asshole newspaper deliverer, etc., essentially begging for tip money. I'm not buying it. In fact, the last payment I mailed to the Detroit Newspapers included a note about how offended I was about your constantly begging for tip money and how you give shit service. I told them that if you don't stop harassing me for money, I'll cancel my newspaper subscription. I wonder if you've heard from them yet.

Peace out Jerkoff.

Recipe of the Day

Buffalo Chicken Burritos- Crockpot

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1 buffalo wings seasoning blend (McCormick)

1/2 cup water

1 container sour cream substitute * (I use real)

1 can diced green chilis

1 can black beans

10 tortillas

Put everything into crock, except for chicken and tortillas, and mix around. Then add chicken in and cook for 6-8 hours. Take chicken out and shred. Put back in and get all pieces moist. Put on table and let people serve themselves.

* This substitute is non-dairy and therefore will not curdle in the heat of the crockpot. If you desire to use regular sour cream, I would suggest adding it within the last 1/2 hour of cooking time.

So I'm watching TV

and on HGTV they have a show called Designers Challenge which I really like. It's where a homeowner wants to remodel an area in their home, they have a budget and 3 different professional local designers bid on the job with detailed floor plans and designs. Anyway, some of you know that we have to re-do our kitchen because it sucks in every way and I've been thinking of what we can afford, what I want it to look like, etc, etc. So I'm watching this show and the couple featured is wanting to re-do their dining room. It's an average, run of the mill dining area and these people have budgeted $25, 000 to do it!!!!!!

WTF?!?!?!

$25,000 to do a freakin' dining room? What kind of ghetto ass kitchen am I gonna get for less than that?