Do you know why I don't tip you? It's because every time I DO tip you, I get shit service for the next 6 weeks. Why is this? Is it because you don't give a shit if my paper gets to my porch like I've specified that I wanted because you now have your money so why bother? Is it just coincidence? I think it's because you are a lazy ass who once you get your tip money, which is generous by the way, you stop giving a shit about the service you give. Well guess what buddy? I'm not tipping you a friggen dime anymore. Your service is shit, you barely get the paper even close to my friggen porch much less on the damn thing, and I'm sick and freakin' tired of you pulling into my drive at 40 mph with your brights on at 430 am to whip my paper from your car window (yes I saw you.). Oh and a big middle finger of thanks for throwing the Saturday paper into my cute little garden sign and breaking the damn thing. That'll take you MONTHS of potential tips to pay for. Oh and another thing, stop sending me your freakin' sob story letters about how you're a student, husband, father, asshole newspaper deliverer, etc., essentially begging for tip money. I'm not buying it. In fact, the last payment I mailed to the Detroit Newspapers included a note about how offended I was about your constantly begging for tip money and how you give shit service. I told them that if you don't stop harassing me for money, I'll cancel my newspaper subscription. I wonder if you've heard from them yet.
Peace out Jerkoff.
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