A fresh start

I love the new year. It's like getting a clean slate. Eveything from the previous year is erased and my chalkboard is clean and ready for my goals. I don't "do" resolutions. I "do" goals. It's a mental thing. Goals give you something to work towards. Resolutions are like "do or fail" mantras.

Here are some of my goals for 2009:

1. Pay off my last credit card with a balance.
2. Pay off my student loan (I'm so close. I have like less than a grand left)
3. Get to the gym a minimum of 4 days a week.
4. After paying off my credit card, use 1/2 the monthly payment to put towards paying down the trailer loan and the other 1/2 split between both boys college fund.
5. Heavily contribute to roth IRA
6. Max out DH's contribution to retirement acct.
7. Max out my contribution to retirement acct.
8. Save at least a 6 month (minimum 4 month) emergency household fund
9. Arrange a monthly "adults only" get together for potluck,cards, games, etc.
10.Plan weekly dinners and STICK WITH IT!
11. Get back to volunteering at least monthly.
12. Refi my mortgage when rates hit 3%.

That's it for now. It's gonna be a good year.

The joys of motherhood #137

Peeing when you cough.

This is especially great when you have bronchitis for the 100th fucking time in 3 months.

I honestly don't think I could think of a better way to spend my day than coughing and peeing my pants over and over and over.....

Life is good. Bring on the new year!

Cheers

I have to give props to my peeps over at Philosophy Beauty. I've always been a fan of the Purity cleanser and Hope In A Jar moisturizing cream. I have used them for years. I cannot say enough about how much I love them. However....I recently added the following gems to my daily regimen (LMAO here because it's hardly a regimen. I'm the laziest person on earth so if I can do it, YOU can do it!) I use them once a day in the morning before moisturizer. OMG, they've totally changed my skin! I mean, really changed the surface of my skin. I had acne scarring from my teenage years and it's amazing how it has helped resurface my skin and significantly reduce the appearance of the scarring. People tell me all the time now how nice my skin looks. I've never heard that before. Srsly ('cept when I have a rocken' tan in the summer. Kinda defeats the purpose of all this money spend on my skin doesn't it? Hmmm..have to think about that this summer). I don't work for the company so this is strictly MY opinion. I can't say enough about this stuff. Especially if you're in your 30's and 40's.

Turbo Booster C Powder

One little coke-lookin' spoon full in the following serum.


When Hope Is Not Enough serum

I use two dropper fulls and mix in the booster C powder in my hand. I then put all over my face and neck, avoiding my eyes.


I'd order them from QVC if you want to try them. They have an unconditional money back guarantee if for some unknown crazy ass reason you don't see an obvious change in your skin.

Word.

The true meaning of Christmas

I have such a cool kid. Listen to what he did.

I have a locket with a picture of the Flying Monkeys on one side and my Mom, who's no longer with me, on the other. FM Uno asked tonite to open the locket and look at the pictures.

FM: "I bet you really miss your mom don't you? Especially since it's Christmas huh?"

Me: tearing up, I couldn't speak. I just nodded my head.

FM: "Aww mom, don't cry, come here."

He proceeds to give me a big hug while I blubber quietly into his shirt. He grabs FM Part duex and takes him into his room. About 10 minutes later, he comes out with a letter to Santa. He wants to make sure it gets put out with the cookies and milk so Santa will see it. I forget about the letter while we do things and start getting ready for bed. It's time to put the cookies and milk out and he produces the letter. Here is what it said:



FM: "Mom, I wanted to ask Santa to bring you a toy too. I know you're sad that your Mom isn't here and toys always make me feel better so maybe it'll make you feel better."

Speechless, I was speechless. How did I get so lucky?

Cherish your loved ones and have a beautiful Christmas.

What's for breakfast-Christmas

Wake-Up Casserole

8 frozen hash brown patties
4 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
1 pound cubed fully cooked ham (I'm using sausage links)
7 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard

Place hash brown patties in a single layer in a greased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dish. Sprinkle with cheese and ham.
In a bowl, beat eggs, milk, salt and mustard. Pour over ham.
Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. Uncover; bake 15 minutes longer or until edges are golden brown and a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.

German Pancake

6 eggs
1 cup milk
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted

BUTTERMILK SYRUP:
1 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup butter or margarine
2 tablespoons corn syrup
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
confectioners' sugar

Place the eggs, milk, flour and salt in a blender; cover and process until smooth. Pour the butter into an ungreased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dish; add the batter. Bake, uncovered, at 400 degrees F for 20 minutes.
Meanwhile, in a saucepan, combine the first five syrup ingredients; bring to a boil. Boil for 7 minutes. Remove from the heat; stir in vanilla. Dust pancake with confectioners' sugar; serve immediately with the syrup.

I'm using this for the topping:

Blueberry Sauce

2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
1/4 cup water
1 cup orange juice
3/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup cold water
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the blueberries, 1/4 cup of water, orange juice, and sugar. Stir gently, and bring to a boil.
In a cup or small bowl, mix together the cornstarch and 1/4 cup cold water. Gently stir the cornstarch mixture into the blueberries so as not to mash the berries. Simmer gently until thick enough to coat the back of a metal spoon, 3 to 4 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the almond extract and cinnamon. Thin sauce with water if it is too thick for your liking.

Overnight Caramel Cinnamon Rolls

http://iheartchaos.blogspot.com/2008/12/fat-ass-friday.html

Why people SUCK...reason #345

I volunteered for our local Goodfellows this week sorting toys for the annual toy drive done for people having hardships in our area. What should have been a "feel good" morning turned into a "people really fucking suck" couple of hours.

This particular organization puts toy collection boxes out at various local organizations just like Toys for Tots. The boxes are then collected/emptied and brought to a place where wish lists are fulfilled for needy families. I was there with a friend to sort toys and help fill orders. What I found was filthy, nasty stuffed animals, broken toys, used toys missing pieces, cheap shitty dollar store China's best lead bombs (ie: toys) and CLEAR re gifts which would be OK except for the fact that it was OBVIOUS that the boxes were opened, rifled through and re-taped (shitty at that). I have one thing to say.....

What the fuck people? Seriously. A couple of those stuffed animals looked like they had dried vomit on them, another looked like it was a dog toy for at least a month before it's owner so graciously donated the shit sac to the local toy charity for children and the rest just absolutely filthy. Why would you even consider dropping those off in a box that CLEARLY stated "NEW TOYS ONLY". Would you want YOUR baby playing with that nasty ass shit? Pigs. Nasty Pigs. How 'bout those broken toys? Nice...really nice. Throw the shit out. Again I ask, would you want YOUR child to have someone else's broken shit?

I'm gonna go all out here and say this:
If all you can afford is some lead filled dollar store piece of shit toy, save your $1 and don't donate at all. No one wants that piece of shit toy.

Of course, the people that DID donate wonderful toys, bikes, games, dolls, clothes, food, etc. make up for these assholes. It's sad though, that what sticks out in my mind is the crap. Typical for me though. What would I blog about if I was all rainbows and sunshine?

I shudder to think!

Bwahahahahaha!

"A chick in Port St. Lucie, FL suspected her husband of getting it on with another lady, so naturally, she asked to smell his dick area for strange pussy juice odors. The 37-year-old woman followed her husband to the bathroom and told him to whip his dick out "so that she can smell it."
Her 25-year-old husband was not amused, because when she went down to get a whiff, he punched her in the mouth and kicked at her body. After the bastard beat at her, he left the house. Police are currently searching his ass"

What a friggen hoot! Many thanks to the Trailer Trash Couple of the Year in Port St. Lucie, FL for the laugh!
Source

Become a vegetarian Thursday

Here's a visual to get you started:

This is a duck. A skrawny duck. A very well done duck. Yuck Mr.Duck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. I no eatie duck. Yuck.

Flying Monkey Christmas

Our Christmas card:



Flying Monkey's and Santa

Hate, Hate, Hate with a side of Hate.

I hate my natural gas company. I hate how we as consumers are gouged over natural gas prices. I hate how there is only one company to get it from. I hate how those lazy bastards can't even come out to actually READ my friggen meter. I just received my bill which went up 150% from last month. W...T....F. I have my thermostat on 69 degrees 24 hours a day. It's electronic so it's set for that temp and we do NOT touch it. Now of course it's been colder outside but 150% colder than last month? Bullshit. My bill went from $63.00 to a $190.
Are you fucking kidding me?
So I look at the meter read. Uh, no, the meter was estimated not an actual read. Bullshit if I'm going to pay it. BULLSHIT. I'm really pissed over this. I'm calling Monday and fighting with them over this.
Like I really need this shit now.

Happy Shopping!!

December 18th is FREE shipping day!! Go here and find out all the merchants (there are a ton) that are participating. They all promise that your gift will arrive by Christmas too.

I heart free.

Wow.

I got into a pretty big fight with DH. I was uber pissed and slammed outta the house for retail therapy at Costco. When I got home, of course I was still pissed but then I saw this .

I don't "know" this gal. I've seen her s/n around the message boards. I ask you to say a prayer for her and her little boys. How tragic a loss, especially at this time of year.

It made me think twice about the dumb ass (sort of) fight I had w/DH. You never know how much time you have with someone. It's things like this that drive it home.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

20 y/o female brought in by ambulance. Chief complaint: ETOH (alchol intoxication) and possible domestic. Looking at her she's:
1. definitely intoxicated
2. from a trailer park or shack town (run down area of duplexes a couple cities away)
3. on the verge of drunk crying

Male nurse: "Man, you should see the stretch marks on her"
Me: "What? Are you serious?"
Male nurse: "Yah, they're HUGE"
Me: "You're a piece of work. She's probably had a baby, you ass. Newsflash! You get stretch marks with pregnancy!"
Male nurse: "She did. Actually twins."
Me: "You're a Tool."
Male nurse: "Hey, I'm not the one with stretch marks that would make Rand McNally jealous and wearing a 1/2 shirt to show 'em off."
Me: "Still a tool"

So the story goes.....chickie is married to a 45 y/o. This also happens to be her friend's dad. They've been married since she was 17. She had been drinking, passed out in a car backseat with no pants on and her 21 y/o stepson in the back seat with her.

Jerry!

It gets better. 45 y/o husband finds them. Gets pissed. She wakes up in a drunken stupor and starts fighting with him. Says her pants were off because she thought it would be fun (I can see this. Sex can be fun with the right person. I'm thinking your 21 y/o stepson might not be that right person). 45 y /o is not buying it. She calls 911 to bring her in. She gets here and now she's bemoaning her life. 45 y/o has the three month old twins at home with him.

Jebus...3 months old.

So now she's claiming that she should have never married him and that she thinks he's a pedophile.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Yah, a pedophile. So she never elaborates whether he's a suspected pedophile because he married a 17 y/o three years ago OR because he's puttin' the moves on her babies or someone else's kids.

An hour later, 45 y/o shows up. 1st she doesn't want to see him. So we call security to make sure there isn't a problem when he's told that she doesn't want to see him. Then 5 minutes later she decides she'll see him. Only she never specifies which "him" she wants to see. Naturally we let the 45 y/o back.

FAIL!

He's in there about 2 minutes and leaves. Next! Here comes the 21 y/o stepson. All crying ceases from the room...giggling starts and hugs are exchanged. We obviously let in the wrong guy 1st.

45 y/o leaves with the twin girls and stepson. Chickie is left with us to sober up.

Nice to know that the vicious cycle of whitetrashness will continue with the twin girls.

Jebus.

Brilliant

More screetching from the front lines.......

*Work SUCKED yesterday. S-U-C-K-E-D. I can't go into it further because there are eyes everywhere. I'm so not getting fired because I bitched on a blog...KWIM?


*I'm gonna kill my AH (ha! figure that one out) because he keeps letting the flying monkeys play with G.D play dough in part duex's room. That shit is
E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. I'm sick and GD tired of cleaning it up so I refuse to do it anymore. I told AH, either you clean that shit up or I throw all the shit out and blame YOU when the beasts cry. BAM!


*I'm exhausted and too tired to do anything about it. That's pretty sad.



*I've still got effing bronchitis. I'm so beyond done with this. I'm already on antibiotics. I honestly hate working in a hospital. You take home EVERYTHING.

*I'm sooooo done with volunteering to work the effing PTA shit. I signed up to work the book fair. I didn't want to but there wasn't but one lady signed up so I felt bad (mistake #1). That was at least 2.5 weeks prior to the event. Did I get a phone call?? No. Did I leave my phone number on the sign up sheet? Yes. So the event day comes and I feel like shit (see above bronchitis gripe) but I'm gonna show because I said I would (mistake #2). I drop Part Duex off at class then go the table and say that I'm here to volunteer. The chick there says, "Hmm, OK. That makes 3 of us then." I said, "I wonder why they'd schedule 3 of us for this thing when there are only two chairs and room for two at the checkout table." The next lady shows up and after I tell her why I'm there she says, "Oh they must not have called you to not come." I said well I'm gonna leave because I don't feel well and you are obviously don't need the extra help.
I'm sick of the lack of communication with these friggen groups. This isn't the 1st time the left hand has no idea what the right is doing. I'm not doing it anymore.

*FYI: doubling up on your anti-depressant only makes you more tired.

*Why do I bother cooking dinner if no one eats it?

*Feet. I wish I could cut mine off. On average, I have to buy new work shoes (read athletic shoes my fav being New Balance) every 3 months. The insides die even though the outside looks new still. It's a fact of life when you work on your feet so I've accepted it. I usually get them at Kohl's because they have the best sales on New Balance. I couldn't find my size in Fred Flintstone width this last time so I bought men's since they're usually wider than women's. Big Mistake. From go my feet killed in those shoes. I lasted 2 weeks and I had to break down and buy another pair of women's this time. Now my feet hurt like a mutha and it doesn't help that we've been busy at work.
My kingdom for a foot massage.

Rant off.

Fat Ass Friday

Overnight Caramel Cinnamon Rolls

· 1/4 Cup Butter
· 1/2 Cup Brown Sugar
· 3/4 tsp cinnamon
· 1 pkg butterscotch cook and serve pudding -- DO NOT USE INSTANT!
· 1 pkg frozen bread dough balls

1. Lightly grease bottom and sides of bundt or angel food pan.
2. Place 18-20 frozen bread balls in pan -- cut back on the number if the bread balls fill the pan more than 1/2 way.
3. Sprinkle entire pkg of butterscotch pudding over the bread balls.
4. Melt together remaining ingredients in microwave. Drizzle over the bread balls. Set on counter overnight.
5. The next morning bake at 350 degrees for 23-30 minutes.
6. Enjoy!

Recipe and photo courtesy of Momster