All I really need to know I learned at Jellystone

~ I learned that 60% of women who wear bikini's have never seen, much less owned, a full length mirror.

~ I learned that a teenage girl will spend 1 hour straightening her hair with a straightening iron only to put it up in a pony tail.

~ I confirmed that teenage boys are really fecking stupid.

~ I learned that Darwin's theory of natural selection skips the trailers that have NASCAR flags flying from them.

~ I learned that the older I get, the less tolerant I am with dumb fecking people.

~ I learned that people have no manners and the same fucktard who doesn't make her kid cover her mouth and nose when she sneezes and coughs, is the same fucktard's kid who'll give mine the plague now that he's in public school.

~ I learned that those aerosol spray/mist sunscreens aren't worth the wrapper they come in because both my kids burned after using them.

~ I learned that the mom that sprayed her kid with sunscreen while the kid was IN THE POOL should be slapped at least 3 times for being so fecking stupid.

~ I learned that the only kids I like are my own.

~ I learned that hip hugger pants are meant to hug the hips of SKINNY people, not bunch the fat over one's waist band and that these people don't own a full length mirror either.

~ I learned that most people's bathing suits are like 3 sizes too small.

and finally, the Tool of the Day award goes to the asshat that named her two boys "Steel" and "Slade". Here's your sign sweetheart: