I couldn't MAKE this shit up!

Here are the highlights of my night at work:

Crazy ass 19 y/o who was brought in by the police because while he was at Wendy's hamburgers, a voice, identified as Batman, told him to go into the bathroom, shit into a bucket and come out and throw the shit at the other customers in the restaurant. How'd you like to be eating your single with everything combo meal and get smacked in the side of the face with a shit pie?

Stupid "mom" and I use the word "mom" very, very loosly (because what kind of mother would allow this), comes in with an 8 week old infant with 1st and 2nd degree burns to her face. She says that "Dad" aka: effing asshole, decided to blow dry his infant daughters hair and burned her face in the process. W....T....F! Yah, it get's better. Upon the assessement we discover that the baby has the mark on her inner thigh where the effing asshole LAID...yes LAID the hair dryer on the baby's thigh. The burn of the intake filter is the proof of that. Nice 'eh? The baby was transferred out to a burn unit at another hospital.

I gotta go, Superman is telling me to eat some donuts.