Things you never knew you could live without

~Thudguard grooming Wee-Tards since 2001.


Seriously, why would you do this to your precious one? It's one thing if the kid has a jacked up head due to sleeping on it's back but it's totally another to take a perfectly good kid and Wee-tard 'em out. Head injury, smed injury. Flying Monkey part duex has been struck so many times in the noggin it isn't even funny. He's still normal AND would still fetch a decent price on Ebay. White male babies are in demand even at 4 years old. Look at this disclaimer: Adults know when a helmet makes them too hot but a child DOES NOT! - Please check every 5 minutes for overheating. If I was going to check my kid every 5 minutes, why the hell would I need this Wee-tarded helmet?

Anywho...do your kid a favor and don't subject them to early ass-kickings at MOPS play dates, forgo the helmet, get off the internet and watch your damn kid.
There...problem solved.





~Now I'm a convenience whore just like the next guy and I think I have every color of backpack hanging Purell mini hand sanitizer that they make, but even I wouldn't waste money on these here Boogie Wipes.

At $3.99 for 30 wipes, every swipe of your kids snotty nose costs you .13. You can swipe your nose on your shirt for free. OH and they come in grape scent too.
Can't you see it? Wrestling with your kid to wipe it's nose all the time yelling "...but you can smell grape Timmy! Hold still and smell the god damn grapes!!!!!!"

Save your money and buy 100% cotton shirts. They're pretty soft on the nose.




~If you buy this dress


I'll personally come to your house and punch you in the face. I'd rather see Precious in the Wee-Tard helmet rather than this hot mess.


That's it for now homies...peace out!