"My fall down the rabbit hole into kitchen renovation hell" Prelude to my Xanax addiction

I wonder if most addicts can pinpoint the beginning of their addiction. What day/moment in time/life altering event led to their spiral downward. I'm identifying mine now.

We begin our kitchen demolition on Sunday.

I joke (but is it really a joke) that this will either be the end of my marriage or the beginning of a great life in this new kitchen. We don't work well together my hubs and I. We can't even clean out a garage or list a camping grill on Craigslist without having words. I of course, have this expectation of how things should go or end up. Hubs has a different vision (of course he does). I'm usually right (usually...HA! Pretty much always) and herein lies our problem.

We are doing this renovation all by ourselves. We have no experience. We have limited funds. We have two very active boys. We (Ok one) of us takes Prozac that was barely cutting it prior to this renovation. We still have to work. We still have to feed the kids. We (Ok one again) are type A and don't do well with change of these epic proportions. We (one) of us feels like they're having a heart attack just thinking about what's in store and it hasn't even begun. We (one) wonders how in the hell she's gonna still run a household in the midst of this chaos. We (one) wonders what the hell she's gonna feed the family and how she's gonna feed the family during this disaster.

I wonder if my downward spiral will feel like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

I wonder if the Madd Hatter really does look like Johnny Depp.

I'll let you know.