I've really been doing some soul searching about this and the last few times I've worked, helped me make the decision.
- I feel that it's a lateral move. Even though nursing offers me more opportunities in the medical field, it will be a long time before I make the money that I'm making now.
- The amount of money that I'd have to borrow in student loans will be in access of about $15,000 (yah, this seems "cheap" but remember that I already have an associate degree!) and I'm not even done with the loans I took for Respiratory school!
- I'm not willing to take 2 years out of my family's life to commit to nursing school. My kids are still so young and I'd hate to miss these years. This is one of the main reasons that I've decided not to continue.
- Nursing school is no walk in the park and although I'm completely capable of the academic portion of it, the time involved is what scares me. I won't be able to work much and frankly, after the catastrophe with the trailer, we need my income.
- I feel comfortable and confident in my job as a therapist. I don't want to start over with all the doubts and fears that come with starting a new position/career. I don't want to have to build the confidence thing all over again. I can handle whatever comes my way now and I like that feeling.
- This may sound odd but I don't want to get to know my patients on a personal level. I like being about to swoop in, treat you and make you well, then swoop out without all the excess baggage about your life and what circumstances brought you here, other than what I need to know for your care here and now. Here's an example of what I mean. I was giving a patient a breathing treatment and noticed some pictures of her on the wall. Some were of her and her family at her cottage, some of a sunset over the lake the cottage is on, and some of her and her husband. I asked her where her cottage was, commented on how beautiful the sunset was and asked if the man was her husband. She said yes and that those pictures were bittersweet as he's been battling Alzheimer's for a few years now. He looked "young" to have that dreaded disease. I asked how things were going and she said not well. Her daughter and son in law were "watching" the husband while she was in the hospital. Those pictures were definitely of better times and she started to cry as she talked about it. I felt sooooo bad. Honestly. I apologized for bringing up the subject and told her that we'd do everything we could to get her better so she could be with her family and left the room. It was then that I realized that my job can be really depressing. I don't like to "know" these patients as "normal" people. It becomes way too personal for me. I promise you to do my best to help you while you are in my hospital but really getting to know you isn't something I feel comfortable with. Nurses get involved with the patients personal lives frequently. Most of the time it's part of the complete job of treating and caring for the patient. Count me out.
Hmmm....I wonder if I should count this as resolution #2?
1 comment:
Congrats on your decision!
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