Work humor

OK, so I know that this post will be lost on most of you who read this blog, but I DO have Respiratory Therapists that visit and I thought that my fellow RT's would get a kick outta some of the uses for Albuterol:

"I work with an ER doctor who uses this phrase ever so frequently "X-rays are clear and I know the patient isn't wheezing or doesn't have Asthma, but give them a treatment so we can say we did something." This is so common, it happens in my workplace too

"a doctor ordered albuterol tx's for a patient going through heroin withdraw. He said that albuterol will clear the heroin out of her system...i never learned that in school." Writing this one down in case I get addicted to smack.

"Also known as Pro-Vent-itall. Been in the business for 21 yrs I heard and seen just about every use for this. Apparently it is so powerful it makes patients ask for it in their sleep. If I had a dime for everytime I got a call from a nurse saying the patient was asking for a tx, only to find them sound asleep when I arrived I would be a rich, rich woman." LMFAO! I love the Pro-Vent-itall.

"I got called to give an albuterol to cure the hiccups. When I told the nurse it wouldn't help she asked if I had anything that would help. Jokingly I told her to her to put the patient upside down and give him water. Her response, "But he's NPO." Yes Virginia, there are nurses this friggen dumb out there. There are a lot of them that work at my hospital.

"I prefer Al-Butt- erol. Had an asthmatic come in three sheets to the wind drunk. She got admitted to the ICU and shortly after arriving she starts dancing around the room and refuses to get back in bed. TV is set to VH1 and "pour some sugar on me" is playing in the background. When I tell her she needs to get back in bed so I can give a treatment, she asks "What I am giving?" I tell her albuterol. She responds by jumping and turning her backside to me, opens up her gown revealing her white rump and says, "Don't you mean Al-butt-erol" and then proceeds to slap her white rump several times. LMAO" Not only does Albuterol make you breathe better, it makes you a stupid drunk too!

"RN calls and asks if we can give a Alb tx to patient in 216 because the patient will not stay in her room" Ahhh...another stupid nurse. Check my surprised look.

"I once had a stat Albuterol neb tx on a post op patient that had a skin graft to his penis. He was morbidly obese so they took skin from his butt and crafted a handle out of it so that he could reach it to go to the bathroom. The patient was so excited that he went into bronchospasm..." I have nothing to say to this other than Good God.

"Albuterol is an excellent anti-depressent/babysitter drug. "Doc - can we discontinues Mrs. Smith's albuterol - her lungs have been clear for days now." Doc response - "No - let's keep her on them - she get's lonely when noone comes to see her." Awww...poor Me-Maw

"In my 15 years of being an RT my absolute favorite reason to give an Albuterol...Anorexia. No, I am not kidding! The doctor's reason..."Maybe the Q4 Albuterol will make her so nervous she will want to eat." Where do they get their medical degrees from? I felt so sorry for the little 85year old woman. As she trimmered she says "I'll do whatever to get better." How about eating Pumpkin...that would help a whole lot better than this!" Bwahahaha!

and my favorite.......

"Funny story (back in the 1990s) .... upon hearing a resident and RN discuss the use of Albuterol to treat a patient's constipation, a RT friend of mine walked up to them and recommended the resident write an order for Albuterol MDI, 10-20 puffs via the rectum, Q4. We had a copy of the order posted in our breakroom for several months to dispell any of the disbelievers" Dumb ass residents...gotta love 'em!