Well now, OK then.

So....I took my lab final tonite in my Organic and Bio Chemistry class and it frankly sucked. That lab class I missed due to the ENT appt. from hell appeared to be a very important class as about 25% of the damn test tonite was based on a lab that I didn't attend. Hmmm, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I didn't do so well on my exam tonite. When I left, I was very, very pissed, so much so that I just wanted to drink and cry. I decided to pick up some Pan Pan sesame chicken for dinner and while I was waiting for my order to be done, I walked down the strip mall to the Hallmark store bemoaning my existance. As I approached the door, a man in a wheelchair came out of the store. As I looked at him, I noticed that he had no legs. Just a torso in a chair. Not only that, but he was getting ready to get into a van and drive himself away. Wow. Amazing. It seems that God decided to present me with a very pretty package of "you think you've got problems?" at that moment. I realized that in the big scheme of things, my shitty test meant NOTHING as I was there, walking into a store with money in my pocket, two beautiful children at home and a husband who loves me working at a job that pays for our nice home and things. Yes, I heard you loud and clear Lord. I shall shut up and be thankful for what I have. Thank you for the gift, shall I consider it an early birthday present?

For the cook who has everything.....

A Shout out

to my peep Heather for making my new header.

Thou shalt not covet they neighbors wife

So this is one commandment that I have no fear of breaking because I can't stand the woman. Not only her, but her husband too. Not only were these people despicable to my mother but they're down right assholes to us and my children too which REALLY pisses me off. One of the reasons I can't stand them is because they make my lawn look shittier than it already does if that's possible. This woman has nothing to do all day/week/month/year but cut her lawn. She does this like 2-3 times a week and I'm NOT kidding. So you can imagine that every time she cuts her lawn, it makes mine look 10 times longer. On the one side of my house, the lawns run together so there is literally a line of demarcation where her lawn is like 1 inch and mine is like 10. We try to cut our lawn once a week. Our schedules are so busy that it's hard to do this but we try hard to. Since the snow has melted, she has cut her lawn like 4 times. WTF. I sent her address to a inner city soup kitchen for their mailing list hoping she'd get the hint and get a hobby that doesn't involve cutting her lawn 3 times a week.
My kids were out last summer one day in the backyard and the woman was out in hers, mowing the lawn of course. Owen was at the fence saying "Hi, Hi Lady, Hi". Do you know this bitch outright ignored him? IGNORED HIM. She was at the fence pulling weeds RIGHT NEXT to where he was standing and she IGNORED him. What a bitch...seriously. How could you NOT acknowledge my tow headed little boy with the steel blue eyes? That did it for me. They're on my list...you no wanna be on my list, it's a baaaaaaaaad list to be on.

Speaking about lawns.....I hate mowing the lawn. H-A-T-E it. It all started years ago when I was used as slave labor to cut our lawn when I was younger. We had a BIG lawn for a 12 year old to cut. The slave driver also required me to cut it in a different pattern every week. No mulching, no sirree, have to mow two strips and then fight with that damn bag which weighed 25lbs. to dump it in the garbage can all by myself. That's alot of work for a 12 year old. Every week. I swore that I'd NEVER....NEVER cut another lawn as long as I lived when I grew up. So...enter my adulthood and 1st home. I told DH(dear husband) that I do NOT cut lawns so if that was something that he couldn't live with, we'd need to hire a lawn service. He vetoed that idea because he liked cutting the grass and working outside. OK then, it's your baby..forever. This is why it's so hard to get the lawn cut regularly, DH works 6 days on then 3 days off and of those 3 days off, I work all of them. I'd kill for a kid who cuts lawns in this neighborhood to make extra money. Parents need to stop handing out $20's to their kids and make 'em work for their money but alas, that's a gripe for another day.

Who's your granny?

Do you find yourself needing grandmotherly advice but without a granny around? Go here and you can get free advice from a cyber grandparent:

www.elderwisdomcircle.org

What will they think of next?

Bwhahahahaha!

Boys are stupid and this video proves it!

1st do no harm, but before that, we're gonna make you wait in the waiting room for two %*!$#*@ hours!

Speaking of doctors and why I freakin' hate them...we took Luke to the ENT (Ear, nose and throat) doctor the other day. I had brought up to our family dr. that Luke seemed to snore/obstruct when he slept or was at rest an awful lot for a little boy his age so she referred us to the ENT. I called and it took like 3 weeks to get an appointment so in the mean time, Luke announces to me that he can't hear me and that's the reason he's been ignoring me when I speak to him. I thought he was just straight out ignoring me and I was getting really mad but one day he bursts into tears and says "I can't hear you when you talk so please don't be mad at me!" I felt like crap. Anyway, I figure that it's good that we already have an appt. with the ENT so I'll address the hearing issue then as well as the snoring/heavy breathing thing.

So appointment day is here and I worked 12 hour midnight shift the night before. I got off at 730am, went to bed at 8am and slept 'til noon. We head off to the appt. after dropping O man off at Auntie Michelle's house. We get there about 245pm for our 3pm appt. We fill out the new patient paperwork and then sit down to wait. We wait...and wait...and wait...and wait. We go up to the desk and Suzy-Sixteen says "well, there are 6 people in front of you so it'll probably be an hour". It's now 345pm and we've already been there an hour. So I'm PISSED at this point because I KNOW now that I'm not gonna make it to school by the 5pm start time. We drove separately but I don't wanna leave without talking to the dr. as Andrew will inevitably forget to ask something I consider important. So I'm pissed and we still wait...and wait...and wait...and wait. People who's appointments were originally AFTER mine are now being called before us and I'm so effing pissed off, I feel like crying. I'm effing tired after only 4 hours sleep, I'm missing an important lab class and the ONLY friggen reason I'm still sitting in the effing waiting room is because my 6 year old told me that he can't hear anything out of his left ear. So we FINALLY get called into the room and the dr. comes in like 2 minutes later. He apologizes for the wait and mumbles some crap about an emergency or two. I wanna scream, "Don't bullshit a bullshitter pal" but I don't. I also don't tell him the customary "it's OK" for making us wait TWO HOURS AND 2O MINUTES to see you. So, 5 minutes later, and I'm NOT kidding you...we find out a couple things:

1. Our referral didn't say anything about ear issues so they can't do any testing on his ear because if it. (It was only by the grace of GOD that I didn't lose it here, I'm dead serious)

2. There is fluid in both of his ears which could definitely cause hearing loss. We don't know how permanent this may become.

3. His tonsils and adenoids are HUGE (not infected, this is important because that means that they're huge normally) and are most likely part of the cause of the obstructive issues Luke is experiencing when he sleeps or is at rest.

We're told to start him on an antibiotic and steroid nasal spray and get a referral that would allow them to test his hearing. We need to go back in 3 weeks. Like hell I wanted to say but my baby can't hear so I shut my mouth and make a mental note to get the 1st damn appt of the day so I don't have to wait 3 friggen hours for a 5 minute appointment.

This is why I hate doctors. I am my mother's daughter after all.

Sing with me now......

Owen pooped on the potty! Owen pooped on the potty! We're not gonna need diapers soon 'cuz Owen pooped on the potty!

I know I'm probably jumping the gun here but this kid SWORE he'd never poop on the potty (he kept saying he'd fall in) and sure enough, he asked Andrew if he could go potty on the potty last night and sure enough, he pooped!!! I'll take ANYTHING that I can get these days and to have Owen be the one who initiated the potty time is just momentous. Andrew called me at school and I'm proud to say that Owen got a standing ovation from my class for going #2 LOL. I'm praying hard that this is the beginning of getting this boy trained. I'm sick and tired of wiping butt.
Why am I going into Nursing again?

This made me stop in my tracks

I came across this in a magazine I was reading. It really made me stop in my tracks.

"The best advice I received from another Mom was to imagine that each of my boys has a mirror on his forehead so that I'll always be mindful of what he is seeing. Times that I'm frustrated by the thousandth request or fight, I remind myself of that little mirror and check to make sure that my sons are seeing a face of patience and love"

That some good advice isn't it?

Not from my loins

So I think that they switched Owen at the hospital and my real son who sleeps is out there well, sleeping. Yes I know this impostor Owen looks like me and some even say he acts like me, (for the record I don't agree but psychologically speaking, it is very possible for the captee to take on some of the captors personality traits which could explain what has happened here). You see, I don't need a DNA test to know that this child couldn't be mine. A child of mine would sleep because that's what people in my family do...they sleep. My Mom was a champion sleeper. We use to joke that she could easily sleep through a world war. I use to be able to sleep, before children. I still can nap like the dead though. Even my brother could sleep into the afternoon hours without a second thought. You see what I'm saying? Any human being who regularly awakes between 5:30 am and 6:30 am every single day no matter what time he goes to bed, simply could NOT be from my genes. It's impossible genetically.

This mom is tired. Take some pity on me imposter son of mine and let me sleep until 7:30 am...for once