Stop the Madness!

You know what really irritates me? (How's THAT for a loaded question)

The people out there who have these gay ass blog contests that give away some shitty Etsy creation or something similar for the person who leaves the most comments on their blog. Beg much? Srsly. It's LAME.

I enjoy reading people's blogs. The moment I see some dumb ass contest, I'm outta there. I'm sure I'm missing out on some cool blogs but I can't help it. It's friggen dumb.

I also refuse to clink on any blog ad's.



Here's Michael Phelps smoking a big fat bong though.

Don't say I never gave you nothin' on my blog.

I need a 12 step program

I can't stop playing Animal Crossing for Gamecube (I'm not wealthy enough for Wii). I just got into a fight with FM Uno because he wanted to play Sonic and I was still too busy shaking tree's to get bells so I can pay off my house and buy a damn fishing pole and shovel from Nooks. I kept telling him to "wait a minute" and he started crying and went and told DH on me! LMFAO! DH came in and was like "Seriously? Seriously."

Geeze. I'm off, I'm off!

For now.
Till they go to bed.
All of them.

Damn Cindy for not only turning me on to this game but also enabling me by giving me her kids Gamecube.

I'll get you my pretty! GameStop has used Wii's for like $200. I can get it hooked up and Wii speak set up and be playing your ass by Monday. Muhahahaha!

What's for dinner Wednesday

This is a GREAT recipe if you need to get something to the table fast during the week. It came together easily and was really, really good! I personally loved the fact that it didn't have meat in it. Flying Monkey Uno loved it. Part duex wouldn't eat it but that's nothing new. The only changes I made was to use fat free cheeses.
Enjoy!


Skillet Pasta Florentine

3 C uncooked spiral pasta
1 egg, beaten
2 C (16oz) cottage cheese
1 ½ C ricotta cheese
1 pkg. (10oz) frozen chopped spinach, thawed and squeezed dry
1 C shredded mozzarella
1 tsp each: dried parsley, oregano and basil
1 jar (32.0z) meatless spaghetti sauce
2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese

Cook pasta according to package directions. In a large bowl, mix cottage cheese, egg, ricotta cheese, spinach, ½ C mozzarella cheese and herbs. Drain pasta. Place ½ the spaghetti sauce in a large skillet; layer with pasta and remaining sauce. Top with cheese mixture. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and cook for 25-30 min. or until thermometer reaches 160 F. Sprinkle with parmesan and remaining mozzarella; cover and cook for 5 minutes. Let stand for 5 minutes before serving.

An Open Letter to Showtime

Dear Showtime,

How does it feel to hang on by the skin of your teeth? You were hours away from losing my business when I accidentally stumbled on "The United States of Tara" series that you so BRILLANTLY snatched up. It's a FABULOUS show. Shout out to Steven Spielberg who I'm not shocked to see created this gold mine.

Brilliant.


PS: You had me at John Corbett.

The glass is 1/2 full because......

The benefit to having bags under one's eyes is that it fills out and smooths any wrinkles that may or may not have been there (I'm holding on to the "may not" but realistic to think "may").
Yep, embrace the bags ladies, embrace the bags.

Fat Ass Friday

Triple-Tier Brownies

Ingredients:

1 package fudge brownie mix (13-inch x 9-inch pan size)
1 package (11-1/2 ounces) milk chocolate chips
1 cup peanut butter
3 cups crisp rice cereal
1 can (16 ounces) cream cheese frosting
1 cup salted peanuts, chopped

Directions:

Prepare and bake brownie mix according to package directions, using a greased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking pan. Cool on a wire rack. In a large saucepan, combine chocolate chips and peanut butter. Cook over low heat for 4-5 minutes or until blended, stirring occasionally. Stir in cereal; set aside. Spread frosting over brownies. Sprinkle with peanuts. Spread with peanut butter mixture. Chill for 30 minutes or until set before cutting. Store in the refrigerator.

My A.A.A.D.D diagnosis

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table ,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.

My extra ch ecks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail...

What's for dinner-Wednesday

This is yummmmmy!

Potato Kielbasa Skillet

1 lb. Red potatoes, cubed
3 TBLSP water
¾ lb. Smoked kielbasa or polish sausage, cut into ¼ in. slices
½ C chopped onion
1 TBLSP olive oil
2 TBLSP brown sugar
2 TBLSP cider vinegar
1 TBLSP Dijon mustard
½ tsp dried thyme
¼ tsp pepper
4 C fresh baby spinach
5 bacon strips, cooked and crumbled (I omitted)

Place potatoes nad water in a microwave safe dish. Cover and microwave on high for 4 minutes or until tender; drain.
In a large skillet, sauté kielbasa and onion in oil until onion is tender. Add potatoes, sauté 3-5 min. longer or until kielbasa and potatoes are lightly browned.
Combine the brown sugar, vinegar, mustard, thyme and pepper; stir into skillet. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer uncovered for 2-3 min. or until heated through. Add spinach and bacon; cook and stir until spinach is wilted.
YIELD: 4 servings

Out with the old....finally

Work humor

OK, so I know that this post will be lost on most of you who read this blog, but I DO have Respiratory Therapists that visit and I thought that my fellow RT's would get a kick outta some of the uses for Albuterol:

"I work with an ER doctor who uses this phrase ever so frequently "X-rays are clear and I know the patient isn't wheezing or doesn't have Asthma, but give them a treatment so we can say we did something." This is so common, it happens in my workplace too

"a doctor ordered albuterol tx's for a patient going through heroin withdraw. He said that albuterol will clear the heroin out of her system...i never learned that in school." Writing this one down in case I get addicted to smack.

"Also known as Pro-Vent-itall. Been in the business for 21 yrs I heard and seen just about every use for this. Apparently it is so powerful it makes patients ask for it in their sleep. If I had a dime for everytime I got a call from a nurse saying the patient was asking for a tx, only to find them sound asleep when I arrived I would be a rich, rich woman." LMFAO! I love the Pro-Vent-itall.

"I got called to give an albuterol to cure the hiccups. When I told the nurse it wouldn't help she asked if I had anything that would help. Jokingly I told her to her to put the patient upside down and give him water. Her response, "But he's NPO." Yes Virginia, there are nurses this friggen dumb out there. There are a lot of them that work at my hospital.

"I prefer Al-Butt- erol. Had an asthmatic come in three sheets to the wind drunk. She got admitted to the ICU and shortly after arriving she starts dancing around the room and refuses to get back in bed. TV is set to VH1 and "pour some sugar on me" is playing in the background. When I tell her she needs to get back in bed so I can give a treatment, she asks "What I am giving?" I tell her albuterol. She responds by jumping and turning her backside to me, opens up her gown revealing her white rump and says, "Don't you mean Al-butt-erol" and then proceeds to slap her white rump several times. LMAO" Not only does Albuterol make you breathe better, it makes you a stupid drunk too!

"RN calls and asks if we can give a Alb tx to patient in 216 because the patient will not stay in her room" Ahhh...another stupid nurse. Check my surprised look.

"I once had a stat Albuterol neb tx on a post op patient that had a skin graft to his penis. He was morbidly obese so they took skin from his butt and crafted a handle out of it so that he could reach it to go to the bathroom. The patient was so excited that he went into bronchospasm..." I have nothing to say to this other than Good God.

"Albuterol is an excellent anti-depressent/babysitter drug. "Doc - can we discontinues Mrs. Smith's albuterol - her lungs have been clear for days now." Doc response - "No - let's keep her on them - she get's lonely when noone comes to see her." Awww...poor Me-Maw

"In my 15 years of being an RT my absolute favorite reason to give an Albuterol...Anorexia. No, I am not kidding! The doctor's reason..."Maybe the Q4 Albuterol will make her so nervous she will want to eat." Where do they get their medical degrees from? I felt so sorry for the little 85year old woman. As she trimmered she says "I'll do whatever to get better." How about eating Pumpkin...that would help a whole lot better than this!" Bwahahaha!

and my favorite.......

"Funny story (back in the 1990s) .... upon hearing a resident and RN discuss the use of Albuterol to treat a patient's constipation, a RT friend of mine walked up to them and recommended the resident write an order for Albuterol MDI, 10-20 puffs via the rectum, Q4. We had a copy of the order posted in our breakroom for several months to dispell any of the disbelievers" Dumb ass residents...gotta love 'em!