STAY OFF MY BLOG!!
I use this blog to vent about various things in my life. You are one of those things. You hanging around here is like reading my diary. Trust me when I say that you NEED me to have this outlet for my frustrations. If you insist on sticking around then you must understand the following:
1. Nothing, I repeat, N-O-T-H-I-N-G you read here can be used against me. Everything written is property of ME.
2. You are NOT allowed to comment to me under my own name. It fucks me up. I start thinking that I'm writing notes to myself that I don't remember writing. Sign in and comment under your own name.
3. You will NOT, under any circumstances, post our sex videos. That's crossing the line.
4. I DO NOT live and breathe garbage day. I just don't want the fucking trash sitting around for two weeks because you don't take the initiative to take it out the day before.
Love,
Your Wife
PS: I still don't want you hanging around here.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Dinner's Ready!
This is so good.
Tangy Pork Chop Stuffing Bake
6 bone-in pork chops (3-1/2 lb.)
1 pkg. (6 oz.) STOVE TOP Stuffing Mix for Pork
1 can (16 oz.) whole berry cranberry sauce
3/4 cup KRAFT Original Barbecue Sauce
2 Tbsp. brown sugar
PREHEAT oven to 350ºF. Cook chops in skillet on medium heat 5 min. on each side or until browned on both sides. Meanwhile, prepare stuffing in large saucepan as directed on package.
PLACE chops in 13x9-inch baking dish; set aside. Mix cranberry sauce, barbecue sauce and sugar. Add to stuffing; mix lightly. Spoon evenly over chops.
BAKE 30 min. or until chops are cooked through (160ºF).
I got a whole lotta bitching to do....
~Why the hell am I sick AGAIN?????? WHY??????? Bob Saget! I haven't been sick like this in friggen YEARS! It starts in my head and ends up in my chest. It's like I'm coughing up knives. Srsly. I'm done with this. D-O-N-E.
~ Riddle me this. If Cities, Townships, Counties...whatever... are having such financial issues, why the HELL are they wasting hundreds vs. thousands of dollars mailing senseless brochures toting the educational system of the city that I live in AND have a child in? What a friggen WASTE of resources and tax payer dollars. That pisses me off. I'm gonna start "returning to sender" that shit...maybe they'll get the message. Maybe I'll just "return to sender" alllll the friggen junk ass mail that I get. How fun. I shall start today.
~Why in the HELL am I the only one who remembers garbage day? Srsly. WTF. Why does my friggen husband forget it's garbage day Every.Friggen.Week. We've lived here 4.5 years for fucks sake. You're telling me that it hasn't formed a memory yet? Sometimes I wanna pile all the friggen trash in his car Tuesday night to remind him that Wednesday is garbage day. I swear to Bob I'd do it but for the fact that I drive that car too and don't wanna smell rotten chicken all the way to Tim Horton's.
~On the subject of garbage day, why am I the only one in my neighborhood who's recycling bin is overflowing? There are families that are double/triple the size of mine in this area and I'd say 80% of the recycling bins are barely 1/2 full. My city has had mandatory recycling for YEARS. Now more than ever the company takes almost ALL plastics and the usual recycling items. It really irritates me because if I'M doing my share to keep this planet clean then the rest of the lazy asses around here should too.
Off the bitch box. Soon too return.
~ Riddle me this. If Cities, Townships, Counties...whatever... are having such financial issues, why the HELL are they wasting hundreds vs. thousands of dollars mailing senseless brochures toting the educational system of the city that I live in AND have a child in? What a friggen WASTE of resources and tax payer dollars. That pisses me off. I'm gonna start "returning to sender" that shit...maybe they'll get the message. Maybe I'll just "return to sender" alllll the friggen junk ass mail that I get. How fun. I shall start today.
~Why in the HELL am I the only one who remembers garbage day? Srsly. WTF. Why does my friggen husband forget it's garbage day Every.Friggen.Week. We've lived here 4.5 years for fucks sake. You're telling me that it hasn't formed a memory yet? Sometimes I wanna pile all the friggen trash in his car Tuesday night to remind him that Wednesday is garbage day. I swear to Bob I'd do it but for the fact that I drive that car too and don't wanna smell rotten chicken all the way to Tim Horton's.
~On the subject of garbage day, why am I the only one in my neighborhood who's recycling bin is overflowing? There are families that are double/triple the size of mine in this area and I'd say 80% of the recycling bins are barely 1/2 full. My city has had mandatory recycling for YEARS. Now more than ever the company takes almost ALL plastics and the usual recycling items. It really irritates me because if I'M doing my share to keep this planet clean then the rest of the lazy asses around here should too.
Off the bitch box. Soon too return.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Locked, cocked and ready to go!
My Christmas cards are ready to go! I have a tradition that I mail them out Thanksgiving morning so most receive them by the weekend or so. Last years Disney trip threw a wrench into my annual Christmas card ritual but I actually did have all my envelopes addressed and stamped in Florida with me ready for the picture to be printed and mailed out but we were too busy with everything so I just had to wait 'til we got home. This year I got my game back on though.
I'm also planning the annual Black Friday outing with friends. Nothing says "It's the most wonderful time of the year" than adults fighting over Wii games or being rammed in the back of the ankles with numerous Walmart carts. I truly know what cattle feels like heading to the slaughter and it ain't pretty. However, like the herd mentality, I go back every year for the same abuse. I will say that most of the ad's I've seen have been crap. I did "hear" that if you see a toy or something at ToysRUs or Target, buy it THEN because both retailers aren't planning on anymore deliveries before Christmas. This could be heresay at Target but the CEO of TRU confirmed it. No one wants to get stuck with all that extra Christmas stock.
I'm also planning the annual Black Friday outing with friends. Nothing says "It's the most wonderful time of the year" than adults fighting over Wii games or being rammed in the back of the ankles with numerous Walmart carts. I truly know what cattle feels like heading to the slaughter and it ain't pretty. However, like the herd mentality, I go back every year for the same abuse. I will say that most of the ad's I've seen have been crap. I did "hear" that if you see a toy or something at ToysRUs or Target, buy it THEN because both retailers aren't planning on anymore deliveries before Christmas. This could be heresay at Target but the CEO of TRU confirmed it. No one wants to get stuck with all that extra Christmas stock.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Why? Why, why, why?
So I was at a friend's blog this morning and I read how she made this amazing roasted chicken so I thought I'd check it out and since it came rated so highly, put it on the menu for next week. All was good until I got to this:
But I take the chicken butt for myself. I could never understand why my brothers always fought over that triangular tip—until one day I got the crispy, juicy fat myself. These are the cook's rewards.
Why? Why, why, why? I was alllll in 'til the "chicken butt....crispy, juicy fat". Am I the only person that doesn't find this even remotely appetizing? In fact, I'm down right repulsed by it. Why can't Zebra cakes repulse me? Or how 'bout those Espresso Brownies. Why can't I want to rebate those while thinking of them?
This sentence almost fixes it for me...almost, "Slather the meat with fresh butter. Serve with mustard on the side and, if you wish, a simple green salad." Anything w/butter is better. Maybe I'll still try it.
But I take the chicken butt for myself. I could never understand why my brothers always fought over that triangular tip—until one day I got the crispy, juicy fat myself. These are the cook's rewards.
Why? Why, why, why? I was alllll in 'til the "chicken butt....crispy, juicy fat". Am I the only person that doesn't find this even remotely appetizing? In fact, I'm down right repulsed by it. Why can't Zebra cakes repulse me? Or how 'bout those Espresso Brownies. Why can't I want to rebate those while thinking of them?
This sentence almost fixes it for me...almost, "Slather the meat with fresh butter. Serve with mustard on the side and, if you wish, a simple green salad." Anything w/butter is better. Maybe I'll still try it.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Fat Ass Friday
Oh yummmmmy. Srsly, you won't be disappointed.
Nonstick vegetable oil cooking spray
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 9 by 13-inch baking pan with nonstick spray. Whisk 1/3 cup of water, oil, eggs, and 2 tablespoons espresso powder in a large bowl to blend. Add the brownie mix. Stir until well blended. Stir in the chocolate chips. Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, about 35 minutes. Cool completely.
Espresso Brownies
Serves:
36 bite-size brownies
Serves:
36 bite-size brownies
Nonstick vegetable oil cooking spray
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons water
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons espresso powder
1 (19.8-ounce) box brownie mix (recommended: Duncan Hines)
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon unsalted butter, room temperature
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 9 by 13-inch baking pan with nonstick spray. Whisk 1/3 cup of water, oil, eggs, and 2 tablespoons espresso powder in a large bowl to blend. Add the brownie mix. Stir until well blended. Stir in the chocolate chips. Transfer the batter to the prepared baking pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out with a few moist crumbs attached, about 35 minutes. Cool completely.
Meanwhile, dissolve the remaining 2 teaspoons of espresso powder in the remaining 2 tablespoons of water in a medium bowl. Whisk in the vanilla. Add the powdered sugar and butter and whisk until smooth. Pour the glaze over the brownies. Refrigerate until the glaze is set. Cut into bite-size pieces. Arrange the brownies on a platter and serve.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sa-weet baby Jebus
"A woman in Seattle was recently surprised to find a black widow spider—the deadliest of American arachnids—at the bottom of a Costco container of California grapes. “I got to the bottom of it and all of a sudden…a spider came out! When I went online, it told me what it was—a black widow spider in my house.”
If the story sounds familiar, that’s because cases of spiders found nestled among California grapes have been growing more prevalent as farmers increasingly use the eight-legged freaks instead of pesticides to keep insects off of crops. “Some place in the U.S., almost every day of the year, somebody finds a black widow in a package of California grapes,” says spider expert Rod Crawford. Like those odds, organic produce fans?
The good news is that, despite their potential lethality, no one has actually died from a Black Widow bite in America since 1960. Those who would rather not encounter a venomous visitor from Cali should keep an eye out for suspicious webs when purchasing the fruit. Make sure you wash your produce in warm water—spider webs are poisonous, too!"
If the story sounds familiar, that’s because cases of spiders found nestled among California grapes have been growing more prevalent as farmers increasingly use the eight-legged freaks instead of pesticides to keep insects off of crops. “Some place in the U.S., almost every day of the year, somebody finds a black widow in a package of California grapes,” says spider expert Rod Crawford. Like those odds, organic produce fans?
The good news is that, despite their potential lethality, no one has actually died from a Black Widow bite in America since 1960. Those who would rather not encounter a venomous visitor from Cali should keep an eye out for suspicious webs when purchasing the fruit. Make sure you wash your produce in warm water—spider webs are poisonous, too!"
Oh Mah Gawd. 
Monday, November 17, 2008
And your finalists for Mom of the Year 2008 are.......
Finalist #1, Sugar, comes to us from the run down state of New Jersey where although she doesn't have a job to speak of, she's currently working on giving Levi (shown here in the back seat) a sibling in order to get more welfare dollars.
Finalist #2, Lanie, comes to us from suburban Detroit where she aspires to be an actress. Her self designed ink was inspired by her Creative Memories roller star stamper that she used to scrapbook the birth and 1st birthday of little Sasha shown in the background behind the dilapidated baby gate rescued from the neighbors trash.
Finalist #3, Tammy Faith (aka: Tawny Fawn at The Landing Strip out by the airport)can't thank her Dad enough for installing that stripper pole she got off Craig's List. When she's not mentoring girls with the Big Brother/Big Sister organization, she can be found watching Showgirls, her favorite movie of all time!
And the weiner of the 2008 Mom of the Year competition is.........
Finalist #2, Lanie, comes to us from suburban Detroit where she aspires to be an actress. Her self designed ink was inspired by her Creative Memories roller star stamper that she used to scrapbook the birth and 1st birthday of little Sasha shown in the background behind the dilapidated baby gate rescued from the neighbors trash.
Finalist #3, Tammy Faith (aka: Tawny Fawn at The Landing Strip out by the airport)can't thank her Dad enough for installing that stripper pole she got off Craig's List. When she's not mentoring girls with the Big Brother/Big Sister organization, she can be found watching Showgirls, her favorite movie of all time!
And the weiner of the 2008 Mom of the Year competition is.........
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LISA FROM WEST VIRGINIA!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations Lisa for being the quintessential picture of motherhood. This captures the multi-tasking that all mothers strive to achieve but sadly, some never experience. Taking care of both men in your life earns not only our admiration but this coveted title of Mother of the Year.
Bravo Lisa!
Bravo Lisa!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Bad Tip
Where the other day had a good tip, this is a BAAAAAD tip so don't do it.
"I don't know if anyone posted this one yet:)
I come from a long line of butchers and this is the only thing I learned:) If chicken or fish/shrimp is starting to stink, but not rotten put it into a bath of cold water with baking soda. Let it sit, stir it around and then rinse it off. The smell is gone and the it will taste fresh.
Also if I buy bright red steaks I let them age in my fridge. Brown meat tastes WAY better!"
"I don't know if anyone posted this one yet:)
I come from a long line of butchers and this is the only thing I learned:) If chicken or fish/shrimp is starting to stink, but not rotten put it into a bath of cold water with baking soda. Let it sit, stir it around and then rinse it off. The smell is gone and the it will taste fresh.
Also if I buy bright red steaks I let them age in my fridge. Brown meat tastes WAY better!"
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