Recipe of the Day

Dijon Style Pork Tenderloin

Ingredients:

4 Tbsp. honey
2 Tbsp. cider vinegar
2 Tbsp. brown sugar
1 Tbsp. Dijon style mustard
½ tsp. paprika
1 pound pork tenderloin

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Combine all ingredients except pork tenderloin
3. Coat tenderloin well with sauce
4. Roast at 375 degrees for 20-30 minutes, basting occasionally until meat thermometer registers 160 degrees.
5. Slice thinly to serve.
Serving Size/points:

This makes 4 servings. Each serving is 5 points.

Garlic Smashed Crockpot Potatoes

3 lbs small red potatoes

5 cloves garlic, minced

2 Tbs olive oil

1 tsp salt

½ cup water

½ cup cream cheese with onions and chives

½ cup milk

1. Halve or quarter potatoes to make even sizes. Place potatoes in a 4-6 quart slow cooker. Add garlic, oil, salt and water and mix to coat. Cover crockpot and cook on high for 3 1/2 to 4 1/2 hours, until potatoes are tender.

2 .Mash potatoes roughly with a fork. Stir in cream cheese until blended, then add enough milk for desired consistency.

You can serve this right away, or cover and hold it in the slow cooker for up to 2 hours on low.

I'm FREAKING Fuming!

I'm so mad right now.

We took DH's car in to get the brakes done at a shop that came recommended because they were "honest" and I wouldn't get bent over the Matco tool box if you KWIM. We told them yesterday that we wanted them to call us before they did anything so that we could decided whether or not we wanted the work done.(ie: if they were even thinking of screwing me by trying to tack on a million other things that were "wrong" too, I'd tell them to K.M.A) The guy agreed to do so. We tell them that we don't need the car that day, we can wait until Saturday no problem. So, here is saturday at 4pm and we have received no call. I ask DH about it. I suggest that he call them to see what is up. (do you see a pattern here? I get called controlling but he does nothing unless "prompted" to do it) He calls and the guys says that they already did the brakes and they'll call us back with the price. Oh, and a wheel bearing needs to be replaced. Ummmm, what-the-everloving-F*&$? You DID the GD brakes????? You were supposed to CALL 1ST!!!! So now I'm uber pissed (oh please, had I known that it was gonna get better, I'd have saved my breath for the good shit) and tell DH that he needs to bitch about them NOT calling us 1st! Then they call back with the price.

$190.00.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??????????? FOR FREAKING BREAK PADS????????????????? DO YOU HAVE ROYALTY THAT PUTS THEM ON? PRINCE HARRY AND WILLIAM MOONLIGHTING AT THE MOBIL GAS STATION DOING BRAKES ON WEEKENDS? WHAT THE HELL AM I PAYING FOR?

I'm furious. Beyond furious. Had those bastards called like they were supposed to, I'd have said no thanks and picked up my car. So I say to DH, you NEED to tell them that it's BS that they didn't call when they were supposed to and you want a DETAILED list of the charges that totalled $190. He won't. I guarantee it. Oh and tell them they rest assured they WON'T be doing the wheel bearing. My old man is coming into town next month and he'll be talking DH through doing it. Screw it. I'm trying realllllly hard not to call Mobil. Reallllly hard. Hard, so hard. Hard, hard, hard...........it hurts to sit down now.

Recipe of the Day

OMG this was soooooo good! It made the ham sooooo tender too!

Spiced Ham Steak

1 1/3 cups pineapple juice
1 teaspoon butter or margarine, melted (I omitted this)
1 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon paprika
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground mustard
8 ounces 2 inch thick ham steak

DIRECTIONS
In a 2-cup measuring cup, combine the juice, butter, cloves, paprika, garlic, sugar and mustard; mix well. Pour 2/3 cup marinade into a large resealable plastic bag; cover and refrigerate remaining marinade. Add ham to the bag. Seal bag and turn to coat; refrigerate for at least 3 hours or overnight.
Drain and discard marinade. Grill ham, uncovered, over medium heat for 4-6 minutes on each side or until meat is glazed and heated through, basting occasionally with reserved marinade.


This is AMAZING! It doesn't sound like much but trust me, it's delicious!

Sunday's best fruit salad

1 (20 ounce) can pineapple chunks, juice reserved
2 apples, peeled and cored
1 (21 ounce) can peach pie filling
2 bananas, peeled and diced
3 kiwis
1 pint strawberries


DIRECTIONS
In a small bowl, toss the chopped apples in reserved pineapple juice. Allow to sit for 5 to 10 minutes.
In a large salad bowl, combine the peach pie filling and pineapple chunks.
Remove apples from pineapple juice and add to pie filling and pineapple mixture. Add chopped bananas to reserved pineapple juice and let sit for 5 to 10 minutes.
Peel and slice kiwi and 1/2 of strawberries. Chop the other 1/2 of strawberries and set aside.
Remove bananas from pineapple juice and add to pie filling mixture. Add chopped strawberries; toss together.
Arrange kiwi slices around the edge of the serving bowl and alternate with strawberry slices. Chill and serve.

My new BFF

I have a new obsession. Her name is Jen Lancaster and she's the author of "Bitter is the New Black" and "Bright lights, Big Ass". This chick is freakin' HILARIOUS!! I'm sure we'd be BFF's if only I lived in Chicago. Her sense of humor is so me and she has me rolling with some of the shit she writes. I HIGHLY recommend her books in the above mentioned order. (Get 'em from the library, which btw is an AMAZING resource for books LMFAO! Who knew?) I gotta give an excerpt of her "Bright Lights, Big Ass" book because it had me crying: she's speaking about the fierce competitiveness between her and her husband:

"Incidentally, this competitive drive is why we try to avoid fighting with each other-too much potential for mutually assured destruction. (We teetered precariously on the edge that time I wrote "asshole" on his arm in self tanner and he had to wear long sleeved shirts for a whole week in the middle of summer, prompting him to retaliate by shaving off most of my eyebrow. We called at truce after that, too-no one wanted to lose a tooth. Or worse.)"

That is SO something I'd do (the self tanner gem) and I could soooo see DH divorcing my ass over it.

I heart you Jen Lancaster!

Recipe of the Day

Taco Salad

2 heads of lettuce

1 pound ground beef

1 package shredded cheddar cheese

Several tomatoes (chopped)

1 bottle 1000 Island dressing

Sweet onion (chopped)

2 cans kidney beans (drained)

1 bag nacho chips (like Doritos)

taco seasoning packet

Brown beef and drain. Add 1/2 package taco seasoning. Simmer for a while, then add kidney beans and warm. Set aside. Tear your lettuce into a large bowl and add tomatoes, cheese & onion. When ready to serve, add meat & bean mixture and crushed nacho chips. Mix 1 bottle of 1000 island with the remaining 1/2 package taco seasoning and mix well. Pour over salad and serve.

Outrageous Brownies

1 pound unsalted butter
1 pound plus 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, divided.
6 ounces unsweetened chocolate
6 extra large eggs
3 tablespoons instant coffee powder
2 tablespoons real vanilla extract
2 1/4 cups sugar
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, divided (1 cup for batter and 1/4 cup for the chips and nuts)
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3 cups walnut pieces

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 13x18x1 1/2 inch sheet pan.
Melt together the butter, 1 pound chocolate chips, and unsweetened chocolate on top of a double boiler. Cool slightly. Stir together the eggs, instant coffee, vanilla and sugar. Stir in the warm chocolate mixture and cool to room temperature.
Stir together 1 cup of the flour, baking powder and salt. Add to cooled choclate mixture. Toss the walnuts and 12 ounces of chocolate chips with 1/4 cup flour to coat. Tehn add to the chocolate mixture. Pour into prepared pan.
Bake for about 30 minutes, or until tester just comes out clean. Halfway through the baking, rap the pan against the oven shelf to allow air to escape from between the pan and the brownie dough. Do not over-bake. Cool thouroughly, refrigerate well and cut into squares.

WTF?

I think I'm at risk for Alzheimer's, I really do. I've now forgotten my debit card pin number for the 2nd time. I've had the same number for like 2 years now. The 1st time I forgot it was right after my Organic and Biochem mid term. I stopped at the grocery store right after my exam and I was sooo brain fried that when I was checking out, I went to put in my PIN number and I completely blanked out. This time I was not stressing (that I know of) about anything and the same thing happened. I went to use the card and the PIN was gone from my head. Thank GOD DH was with me to use his card (we were at Costco). Am I now destined to take DH with me everytime I shop??? Oh God I shudder to think! Now I have to go to the bank and hopefully have them reset my PIN without having to mail me a new card. I simply cannot be without my debit card, aka: lifeline for two weeks while the other card is mailed out.

WTF is wrong with me? I think I need that ginko biloba or whatever that crap is called. The golden years suck.

Recipe of the Day

Grilled Lemon- Mustard Chicken

MARINADE:

½ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

1 Tbs minced lemon zest

¼ cup dijon mustard

¼ cup finely chopped fresh herbs (any combo of rosemary, thyme, basil, oregano and parsley)¾ tsp salt

¼ tsp coarsely cracked pepper

CHICKEN:4 whole large skinless, boneless chicken breasts-

halved lemon slices, parsley and fresh herbs for garnish

1. Combine marinade ingredients in a large freezer ziploc baggie. Mix well.

2. Add chicken breasts to baggie and marinate in the refrigerator for 2 to 4 hours.

3. Preheat grill to medium-high heat. Remove chicken from marinade and grill 3 inches from heat for 6 to 8 minutes on each side.

4. Place on individual plates or on a platter surrounded by parsley sprigs, lemon slices and fresh herb leaves.

Servings: 6

Lime Rice

In a sauce pan, sauté:

2 Tbsp butter

1 yellow onion, chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

In a large pot, bring the following to a boil:

6 2/3 cup water

8 tsp chicken bullion

½ bunch cilantro, chopped

2 tsp cumin

2 small cans diced green chilies

1 Tbsp lime juice

½ tsp salt

Add onion and garlic to boiling water. Add 3 cups long grain rice. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes.

A PSA re: Alli

This is a Public Service Announcement regarding the new diet drug Alli. People will be running their fat asses off to CVS to get this stuff so I thought I'd share some info with you people before you go dropping $55.

If you don't eat a LOW FAT diet while on this drug, you WILL be pooping oil and oily poop laden substance will leak from your rectum.

Even with a low fat diet, chances are you WILL experience the leaky butt side effect. It's the truth. I did a research paper on Olestra, the oil they fry chips in to make them reallly low fat, and that crap does the same thing (whole other story). The Alli pill prevents your body from absorbing about 1/4 of the fat you'd typically intake at a meal and that unabsorbed fat has to go somewhere right? I does, right outta your intestines, colon and rectum. It's also a difficult substance to get outta the undies and if you go commando, well, Levi will find their sales increasing for jeans as well as Victoria Secret.

There you have it. You have been warned.

An open letter to Secret

Dear Secret CEO,

I'm writing you to let you know that you have an impostor on the deodorant circuit. It seems that the substandard Suave company is a Secret wanna-be. They've begun to package their crap deodorant to look IDENTICAL to your powerful, baby powder scent goodness and they've no doubt paid Sp Ed Fred stock boy at Walmart to put their shit next to yours, thus fooling the Secret loving fans, such as myself, into buying their 3rd world country deodorant. You have my permission to forward this email directly to your legal department.

I'd also be open to some free coupons.

An open letter to Suave

Dear Suave CEO,

Your deodorant sucks. The fact that it says that it offers "24 hour protection" is absurd as I stink after about 3. I also think that it's bullshit that your packaging looks suspiciously like Secret deodorant which by the way kicks ASS. I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that it's strong enough for a man but made for a woman. I'm still mad because I thought I was buying Secret but ended up buying your shit. I'm mailing it back to you because I have no use for it. Let your wife use this crap, I guarantee she doesn't. Why? Because it's shit that's why.

Thanks for nothing,