Riddle me this....

When you have problems with a program in your Windows operating system and the little bastard of a box pops up and says "we're experiencing a problem with _____ program and will have to close this file. Would you like to notify Microsoft of this problem?" and you push YES to notify Microsoft, do you think it actually GOES to Microsoft? And if it does, why the fuck am I STILL experiencing problems on and off for MONTHS?????? HMMMMMM?????

Because it doesn't get sent to Microsoft. It gets sent to the "This dumb fuck shoulda bought a Mac" department where they all laugh at my stupidity for listening to DH complain that Mac's were too much money so we have this piece of shit PC.

The winds of change are blowing my friends.
Oh yes they are.

I suck.

I had a work friend call me last night. It was late so I kinda knew something was up. She said that she just found out that her mom had a tumor in her brain. Don't know whether it is cancer but any mass in your brain that shouldn't be there isn't good anyway you look at it. Her mom had just come from the MRI to my friend's house as she was watching friends kids while friend went to work. Needless to say, my friend is in shock and devastated. She said she just needed to vent/cry, which I totally understand, but I felt the need to say something. Anything. I don't know why but I did.
What the fuck do you say to someone who's heading down a dark road?
Nothing. There really isn't anything to say.
I'll be there for her. I'll watch her kids if needed and take over food to feed the family as my friend will be concentrating on her mom and treatment if it comes to that. I don't think my friend is strong though. She doesn't handle stress well and this plate that has been handed to her is filled with a big 'ole helping of stress.

Know what's crazy? Absolutely crazy?

The fact that I'm relieved that I don't have to deal with this. My mom is already gone. I'm relieved that I'm DONE with the utter devastation, chaos, shock, numbness, sick feeling, sob fests, etc. Done. How fucked up am I ? This is what I get from a late night phone call? I feel guilty. You have no idea just how relieved I am that I don't have to deal with this shit.
OMG. How supportive is that?
I think I suck.

Healthcare FAIL!

This my friends is what's wrong with our health care system:

DH goes into the family doctor for a routine blood test. He takes Flying Monkey part Duex with him as I 'm working. While there, he remarks to the doc that part Duex has a splinter that's pretty deep and we've had a hard time getting out.
She says "Hey, no problem, I have a medical student who can have a go at it."
Sweet my DH says.

Medical student comes in and after some screaming, ranting, raving and many, many tears, the splinter comes out (this took about 7 minutes, mostly because part Duex tried to escape twice). Everyone goes home.

Fast forward two weeks.

I get a bill from the doctor's office. This is not uncommon as they send a bill and I let the insurance company take care of it. When I open it here's what I find:

$195? $195? Seriously??? Honestly. $195. Call me naive but that just blew my mind. The removal of a friggen splinter cost $195 and not to mention that it was done by the damn medical student too.

Ridiculous.

Obviously we'll be doing our own surgery next time. Better yet, I'll just leave the damn thing in there for that kind of money.

Fix THAT Obama.

I thought it was funny anyway

#1 (outside in back yard): "Hey Mom, open the screen door, I gotta go pee!"

Me (getting up): "Why didn't you just go to the front....hey, your barn door is open"

#1 (looks down): "Oh! I didn't notice"

Me (snickering): "Hurry and close that barn door before the little turkey runs out!"

#1 (looks at me quizingly): "What little turkey?"

Me: "Uh, nevermind"

#1: "No what? What little turkey would run out of my pants? You mean my penis? You are calling my penis a little turkey? Why are you doing that?"

Me: "Uh....no I wasn't. Well it was a joke. You know...barn door open, little turkey escaping...har har har....that kind of stuff"

#1 (crickets chirping) "....uh, well I guess I should go pee"

Me (red faced)"yah, yah, go pee"

Hold me....

I need a hug.

I just closed the window from Katespade.com on an adorable purse that was clearenced out at $97.00 from $300 w/ free shipping.

Sob.....

I keep telling myself that I don't need her.Don't.need.her
I'm sad. Boo Hoooooooooooooo.

Dave Ramsey would be so proud.

Garage Sale FAIL

After perusing through a sub-division wide garage sale this morning, I have made the following observations:

• Most of my city is or has been on a diet. Every house I went to had at least 3 - 4 diet books for sale.
• The diet book industry is the industry to be in.
• It is increasingly clear that people are trying to pay their mortgages with their garage sale profits. Who the hell would pay a DOLLAR for a shitty paperback Harlequin romance novel? A dollar? Srsly. At least 4 houses were charging $1 for paperbacks. Get real.
• On the same subject, the majority of the public has shitty taste in books.
• Who the HELL charges $10 for a faded, pilled double bed sheet set? Are you freakin' kidding me?
• Who still does hook rugs? 3 houses had multiple hook rugs for sale (for a bad ass wall hanging of course!) or if you were so inclined and talented, 1 house had some semi-new in the box so you could hook your own rug.
• Old people lurve them some puzzles
• Stop letting your kids price their own shit. $5 for a Payday game is ridiculous when the game is missing the money. The game is called P-A-Y-D-A-Y , so yes, the money is kinda important.
• Don't have the audacity to get offended when I offer $5 on something that says "make an offer". If you wanted "at least $30" on it, then price it as such you Tool.
• Leave your dog at home. It's rude to bring your mutt to these things. Not everyone likes dogs. Even if you DO like dogs, I sure as hell don't want yours jumping on me or tripping Me-maw because it's in the way. Take it home. Walk Fee-Fee another time.
• Lastly.....PRICE YOUR SHIT PEOPLE. If I have to ask, I'm not buying. Is it that hard? Jeebus.

Now I'm going to do laundry. Don't bother me.

Mama's got a new pair of shoes

Not really but I DO have a new blog dedicated to all things food.
Nom Nom Nom.
Grab a fork and come visit me here

Mexican Lasagna

OLE`! Get your shopping lists ready, this one's a KEEPER!!! YUUUUMMMM!

Mexican Lasagna

1 cup chopped onion
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon canola oil
4 cups cubed cooked chicken
3 cans (10 ounces each) enchilada sauce
2 eggs
1 carton (15 ounces) ricotta cheese
1/2 cup minced fresh cilantro (left this out)
12 no-cook lasagna noodles
4 cups (16 ounces) shredded Mexican cheese blend

Directions:
In a large skillet, cook onion and garlic in oil over medium heat until tender. Stir in chicken and enchilada sauce. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 5 minutes or until slightly thickened. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine the eggs, ricotta cheese and cilantro. Spread 3/4 cup chicken mixture into a greased 13-in. x 9-in. baking dish. Layer with three noodles, 2/3 cup ricotta mixture, 3/4 cup chicken mixture and 1 cup shredded cheese. Repeat layers twice. Top with remaining noodles, sauce and shredded cheese. Cover and bake at 375° for 30 minutes. Uncover; bake 10-15 minutes longer or until bubbly. Let stand for 10 minutes before cutting. Yield: 10-12 servings.

Sweet and Sour Chicken

This was SOOOO good! The sauce tastes so much like the local Chinese joint that we order from. I'm thrilled to finally crack the secret sauce recipe.

Sweet and Sour Chicken

INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons reduced-sodium soy sauce, divided
1 tablespoon sherry or reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch cubes
1 can (20 ounces) unsweetened pineapple chunks
2 tablespoons plus 1/3 cup cornstarch, divided
2 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup ketchup
1 tablespoon canola oil
2 cups hot cooked rice
DIRECTIONS
In a large resealable plastic bag, combine 1 tablespoon soy sauce, sherry or broth, salt, garlic powder and ginger; add the chicken. Seal bag and turn to coat; refrigerate for 30 minutes.
Drain pineapple, reserving juice; set pineapple aside. Add enough water to juice to measure 1 cup. In a small bowl, combine 2 tablespoons cornstarch, sugar and pineapple juice mixture until smooth; stir in the vinegar, ketchup and remaining soy sauce. Set aside.
Drain chicken and discard marinade. Place remaining cornstarch in a large resealable plastic bag. Add chicken, a few pieces at a time, and shake to coat. In a large nonstick skillet or wok coated with cooking spray, stir-fry chicken in oil until no longer pink. Remove and keep warm.
Stir pineapple juice mixture and add to the pan. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Add chicken and reserved pineapple; heat through. Serve with rice. Yield: 4 servings.

Oh YUMMY! This bread turned out sooooo good!! I left out the nuts as the Flying Monkey's wouldn't touch this bread with 'em. Makes 2 loaves. I'm not sharing though.

Pineapple Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:
1-1/2 cups sugar
2/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/3 cup canola oil
2 egg whites
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups shredded zucchini
1 can (8 ounces) unsweetened crushed pineapple, drained
1/3 cup chopped walnuts

Directions: In a large bowl, beat the sugar, applesauce, oil, egg whites, egg and vanilla until well blended. Combine the flour, cinnamon, baking powder, salt, nutmeg and baking soda; gradually beat into sugar mixture until blended. Stir in the zucchini, pineapple and walnuts. Transfer to two 8-in. x 4-in. loaf pans coated with cooking spray. Bake at 350° for 50-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. Yield: 2 loaves (12 slices each).

NI:

One serving: 1 slice
Calories: 159
Fat: 5 g
Saturated Fat: 0 g
Cholesterol: 9 mg
Sodium: 158 mg
Carbohydrate: 27 g
Fiber: 1 g
Protein: 3 g